Simply defined, grief is the normal and natural reaction to significant emotional loss of any kind. While we never compare losses, any list would include death and divorce as obvious painful losses. Our list also includes many others; health issues, retirement, moving, pet loss and financial issues, among them.
The range of emotions associated with grief is as varied as there are people and personalities. There is no list of feelings that would adequately describe one person’s emotions, much less an entire society.
Grief is individual and unique. As every relationship is unique, so are the feelings and thoughts each person will have about the relationship that has been altered by death, divorce, loss of health or for other reasons.
The Problem While grief is normal and natural, most of the information passed on within our society about dealing with grief is not normal, natural, or helpful. Grief is the emotional response to loss, but most of the information we have learned about dealing with loss is intellectual.
The majority of incorrect ideas about dealing with loss can be summed up in six myths which are so common that nearly everyone recognizes them. Most people have never questioned whether or not they are valid. The misinformation is best described in the following:
Just looking at the myth that “time heals” creates the idea that a person just has to wait and they will feel better. We have known people who had waited 10, 20, 30, and 40 years, and still didn’t feel better. And, we know that they would tell you that not only had time not healed them, but that it had compounded the pain. The other five myths carry equally unhelpful messages.
Recovery from loss is accomplished by discovering and completing all of the undelivered communications that accrue in relationships. We are all advised to “Let Go,” and “Move On,” after losses of all kinds. Most of us would do that if we knew how.
Completion of pain caused by loss is what allows us to Let Go and Move On. It is almost impossible to move on without first taking a series of actions that lead to completion. Before taking the actions to complete, it is important to look at and often dismiss some of the ideas or myths that we have tried to use with loss, but are not working.
Safety and Correct Actions
The Grief Recovery Method® Outreach Program provides the correct action choices that help people move beyond the pain caused by loss. It is a twelve-week program which creates a safe environment in which to look at old beliefs about dealing with loss; to look at what losses have affected your life; and to take new actions which lead to completion of the pain attached to one of those losses.
The Grief Recovery Handbook ― 20th Anniversary Expanded Edition - The Action Program for Moving Beyond Death, Divorce, and Other Losses, including Health, Career, & Faith (released by HarperCollins in 2009), and an accompanying format, both written by John W. James and Russell Friedman, founders of The Grief Recovery Institute, are used as texts for the Outreach Program.
If you would like to schedule one-on-one Grief Recovery sessions or if you or your organization would like to schedule an informational session for your group, please contact Donna via email at email@example.com or by phone at phone at 508-824-2187.